From: charlie
Date: 17 Apr 2000
Time: 05:22:08
Remote Name: proxy-612.public.rwc.webtv.net
Jasper, Looking very much forward to reading the rest of Smoking Gun after you get it up.
Glad that you are making the changes I suggested about more referring back to other things you wrote with details. It may have been a function of reading it in "parts" but I found the references before vague and had to actually go back and try to find what you had written before without really knowing which chapter to go look for it in. Also you are much more familiar with the movies and their plots than your readers are so what came "naturally" to you was a struggle for the readers.
I hope you took it in the spirit of Constructive Criticism because that is how it was meant. I take nothing away from the work that you have done. What I wanted you to see was that the work would be wasted and/or your readers would miss a good many of your points if they were not as familiar with the movies and the references as you are. Constantly having to go back and try to find something to recall a reference would defeat the purpose of the reader having an instant understanding of what you are trying to say.
Good luck charlie